like moths to a lamp

So the third pub I visited yesterday was The Great Eastern. I was not in the best frame of mind, having witnessed a frustrating 0-0 draw with Hull.
I was ordering drinks when my friend got chatting to the bloke next to me. The guy spotted my Spurs scarf and said something jokily to my mate to the effect that I was bigger than he was and that he hoped I wasn't going to hit him.
I said, also joking, not unless you're a gooner or a chelsea fan - then added: "You're Chelsea, aren't you." He asked how I knew and produced a CFC season ticket.
"Just a knack," I said. The guy he was with was a Spurs fan as well, but pretty soon afterwards five other CFC supporters arrived. We stayed for a bit and had a laugh with them, then I and my partner in crime moved on to the Druids.
Recently in the St James Tavern, a couple of young lads came in and I said to one of them:"Do you support Arsenal?" The bloke insisted we must have met before and refused to believe that I can spot Chelsea, Arsenal or Spurs fans just by looking at them. These are people wearing ordinary civvies with no scarves, hats, badges or replica shirts.
I said the same thing once to the passenger sitting next to me on a flight back from Germany.
There are certain 'types' which help me to spot them.
But apart from my football-orientation radar, or FODAR, I suppose I'd better call it, I also seem to attract CFC and AFC wherever I go.
I can be buying a pint almost anywhere in the UK and the bloke next to me will be Arsenal or Chelsea.
I even found a couple of them sitting on the next table at breakfast at a B&B I was in on an awards-judging trip.
That wouldn't be so remarkable were it not for the fact that we were 150 miles from the nearest Premiership club, in Cornwall, and it was January and we were the only ones there. Once again, I guessed they were gooners before there was any firm evidence for it other than London accents.
It's difficult to describe the 'types' - as there is more than one 'type' associated with each club.
Arsenal fans can be looks-obsessed trendy youngsters, and are often black. There's an 'older' type of Arsenal fan, too, often distinguishable from 'older' Chelsea fans. CFC can be other than the usual Phil Mitchell stereotype, but they are there too. Spurs fans aren't too fussed about looks, are often grungy or bohemian-looking with long hair and non-designer stubble. They look as if they have something to say for themselves, they don't go with the mainstream flow. I always find that the Spurs wit is that bit more artful than the banter of the other London teams. As Crassus told Lavinia (? Spartacus's wife):"You tread the ridge between truth and insult with the skill of a mountain goat!"
So what to do about this curse? Well, (deep sigh) I'll guess I'll just have to live with it. After all, it's led to some lively conversations.
I could always give up drinking in pubs or going to football, but that's not gonna happen any time soon.